March is dedicated celebrating women. International Women’s Day (IWD) is a global holiday celebrated annually on March 8 as a focal point in the women’s rights movement, bringing attention to issues such as gender equality, reproductive rights, and violence and abuse against women. The earliest version of IWD began in 1908 when 15,000 women took part in a New York City march, calling for shorter working hours, better pay and the vote. Although, we evolved as society since 1908, the reality is that many women are still experiencing gender based violence, the sexual division of labor, women’s double or triple shifts (work, housework/caregiving, and affective networks), and beauty ideals (social pressure on their bodies).
This article will focus on gender differences from the perspective of labor.
Today in U.S it is common that bought partners work outside the house to earn an income. This might appear to be equal. In majority of cases, this is just an illusion; women are paid less for the same job, compared with men, and often cannot access top management position, so called “glass ceiling”.
Working mothers feel more judged when asking for flexible work arrangements and worry about the impact of such an ask on their career, when compared to working fathers. Women are also more likely to fear being seen as less committed and having to work harder to get noticed when working remotely, compared to men in similar positions.
Perhaps women just have to fight a little bit more, work more, earn another degree and will get to be equal. But wait, after work is time to go home and start the second shift – household work!
Recent studies shows that women perform the majority of the routine household work: cooking, cleaning, child rearing, organizing family time, kids activities and keeping up with doctor appointment. Men, on the other hand, do the occasional chores such as lawn mowing, household repairs, car maintenance, and, less often, bill paying. Characteristically, routine chores tend to be more repetitious, time consuming, time sensitive, and boring than occasional chores, which are less tedious and can usually be completed when convenient.
There is no doubt that in the long run, women might experience burn out, marriage dissatisfaction and poor mental health. The statistics show that at least 1 in 5 women in the United States experienced a mental health condition in the past year, such as depression or anxiety. Many mental health conditions, such as depression and bipolar disorder, affect more women than men or affect women in different ways from men.
How could we make it fair? How could we make it equal?
There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Each situation is unique and involves changes at the personal and systemic level. Be mindful about each other’s history– we tend to believe that the way our parents ran the household is the best or “normal” way of doing things, but the truth is that there is no right way We are not bound by traditional gender roles and we can create our own “normal” through communication and negotiation about what a fair division of labor looks like in your home.
Having conversations with your partner about what each of you believes is a fair share in household work can be a good starting point. When it comes to housework, it can be helpful to make a list of all the chores and make a mutual decision about who is responsible for which tasks. Remember that “fair” does not always mean “the same.” Because some tasks are more demanding and time-consuming than others, it’s important to take that into consideration when dividing up housework. It may be tempting to criticize your partner’s way of doing things, but will only discourage them from doing their part. It’s also important to stick to your agreement and review it on a regular basis. Keeping promises to yourself and your partner builds self-respect and trust in a relationship.
And remember, even strong women get tired sometimes. Be kind to yourself and ask for help when you need it. Asking for help takes courage and resourcefulness. It doesn’t make you look weaker– it is just another way to solve a problem.